Real stories of dating abuse
"You might sort of laugh because it's unbelievable, but you still have a weird feeling.And you have to trust your gut that if something feels weird or inappropriate, it probably is."That said, it may be hard to tell if someone is going to turn violent until they do.
"I thought a fight wasn't worth it," she says.She was also afraid of what other people would say.Would they believe Ali hadn't "asked for it," as her friend said she had?And to make matters worse, Futures Without Violence's numbers show that only 32 percent of teens in abusive dating relationships confide in a parent about what they're going through, and 63 percent of those whose parents encourage them to break up actually decide to give their partners another chance.Emotions run high in relationships, especially your first serious ones—there are dramatic ups and drastic downs.Maybe you're worried your friends will take his side.
Or maybe you're not certain if an incident is even reportable.
"He told me he was going to kill me and what he was going to do with my body," she recalls grimly. He begged her not to tell anyone and promised he would never do it again. Dating violence is one of those things that happens to other people.
Until, that is, it happens to you, or someone you know.
Ali, 22, says she was 17 when a friend sexually assaulted her out of the blue.
"The next day he texted me, ' Did you tell anyone what happened? She hadn't reported the incident, and wouldn't, for almost a year. She was embarrassed, plus she knew they'd make her press charges, and she wasn't sure she was up for that.
One night not long after, when they were hanging out at his house, she found him looking through her phone, where he saw text messages from another guy.